Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
