I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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