My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
