Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
