PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
