I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
