I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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