If that was your dad, he is hot
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
