So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
