Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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