At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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