I skipped work to stalk him.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
