Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
