My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
