Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
