she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
