You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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