Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
