I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
