i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
