I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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