i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
