We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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