I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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