just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
