there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
