My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
