All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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