When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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