Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
