i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
