at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
