did you get engaged???
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
