Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
