It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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