You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Drunk is not a location!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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