Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
