Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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