he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
