I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
