Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it glows. i had to have it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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