You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
