Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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