Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
