At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
