Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
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