tell your sister to shave her snatch
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
