blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
