I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
