You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
